I is direct …
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008Good written and oral communication is much harder than writing software, at least for me it is. I learned a good lesson recently about writing in a confrontational and non-confrontational way. I hope this post helps you.
The building where I live has had some problems with lax security resulting in damage and theft and so I wrote a letter to the Body Corporate asking for more attention to security. I sent the email to a friend to proof before sending it onto the Body Corporate manager.
My friend responded saying that my “tone” was confrontational but I didn’t see why, all I did was state my case something like this:
Dear Manager,
I would like to meet and discuss the recent security problems with the apartment block.
Please tell me a time that we can meet?Regards, James
So what is confrontational about this I wondered and I asked my friend to explain. He said that using words like “I” and “me” make the dialog direct and this directness can be confronting depending on the individual receiving the message. He suggested that I make the message indirect and therefore less confrontational. This is what I wrote:
Dear Manager,
Could we meet to discuss the recent security problems with the apartment block.
Please suggest a time we can meet?Regards, James
Personally I would not have a problem with the first version if it were sent to me, it is clear and factual. However, I do want my communication to be effective and confrontation is not effective. From now on I will be trying to look for and adapt my writing to remove direct speech and incorporate more collaborative words like “we” and “us”.
This is probably not the best or most thorough explanation on direct and indirect speech, so if you see a better one elsewhere then please send me a link.